Another brick falls

Over the past several months, I’ve been in a pretty bad depressive funk, including more social anxiety than usual and having to talk myself out of panic attacks every day before I start work. It hasn’t been easy, and I’ve been dealing with it and seeking treatment. But one thing I have always believed heavily in is the power of positive thought. This weekend I was reminded how much anxiety stems from my hearing and how fabulous, positive people can break through to me.
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All in a day’s work

Some days you go to work and it’s the same old same old. I’ve been doing the same thing in my career for 20 years. The technology changes, but it really is the same every day. At least I’ve always worked at places where what I was doing actually makes a difference in the world, so the monotony has meaning.
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Walking on broken glass

A year ago today, I was heading into surgery to get my cochlear implant.  I really had no idea what I was getting into, but I one thing I knew for sure:  it was going to be a lot of work.  I’ve actually been really lucky because my brain adapted quite quickly once I was activated, and I was understanding speech the same as a hearing person within a few months.  But even almost a year after my activation there is one thing that is still difficult and will never change:  what I hear now will never sound “natural”.
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If this is it…

The last couple of weeks has brought a couple of shows, some tentative singing, and a lot of listening.  I find I seem to have reached the point where “new” is no longer happening very often and what I’m hearing is very stable.  There doesn’t seem to be much growth or learning.  At 9 months post-activation, I expect this is normal and this is now how I’m going to hear.
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Closer I am to fine

Been super busy these last couple of months with work, social activities, and shows. It’s exhausting but I’m grateful that I’m able to enjoy it all much more now. In the last month, I went to two completely opposite shows: Michael Feinstein with Cheyenne Jackson, and the Indigo Girls. Both I’d never heard live and didn’t really know much of their stuff, yet I was able to immensely enjoy myself anyway.
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