Another brick falls

Over the past several months, I’ve been in a pretty bad depressive funk, including more social anxiety than usual and having to talk myself out of panic attacks every day before I start work. It hasn’t been easy, and I’ve been dealing with it and seeking treatment. But one thing I have always believed heavily in is the power of positive thought. This weekend I was reminded how much anxiety stems from my hearing and how fabulous, positive people can break through to me.
Read more

Only place to go is down…

I’ve often said that if this is the best my hearing gets, I’m happy with it.  Well, we have definitely reached “the best” in one sense.  In another sense, it’s back to terrible.  Had my one year mapping yesterday, with a new audiologist, and as with every mapping, today I hate it.  The good news is that my speech recognition scores came in at 100%.
Read more

From one deaf singer to another

Last night, deaf singer/songwriter Mandy Harvey came in 4th on America’s Got Talent. In case you’ve been living under a rock, Mandy went viral after her first performance. No less than 20 of my friends either shared it with me or tagged me in it saying how much she reminded them of me and how I persevered through my hearing loss. Everyone from Lady Gaga to Marlee Matlin tweeted how amazing she is, and she IS. Since she’s gone viral, I’ve had a lot of people commenting or asking me what I think, so here goes.

Read more

Didn’t it rain?

This morning I had to sit in my car in the parking lot after my commute for a few minutes, just processing, absorbing a song that I’d just heard because it made me FEEL.  Wiping tears away because I was able to actually hear something so musically brilliant that it moved me – something that hasn’t happened much in the last 15 years since my hearing loss.  This recent hearing adventure has come from a rather unexpected place:  the blues, specifically as played by Hugh Laurie.  I love hearing again, because beauty of music like this heals me.
Read more

Walking on broken glass

A year ago today, I was heading into surgery to get my cochlear implant.  I really had no idea what I was getting into, but I one thing I knew for sure:  it was going to be a lot of work.  I’ve actually been really lucky because my brain adapted quite quickly once I was activated, and I was understanding speech the same as a hearing person within a few months.  But even almost a year after my activation there is one thing that is still difficult and will never change:  what I hear now will never sound “natural”.
Read more